So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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