i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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