ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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