The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
