I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
