I need help removing her.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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