True but thats because hes a fetus.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
