i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize