he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
