I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
