Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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