and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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