You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I didn't notice because vodka
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
