i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
