I need help removing her.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
