Yo dont text me then not text me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
