i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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