Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
