I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
