Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
