is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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