I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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