Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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