Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
