Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
