Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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