but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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