this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize