so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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