Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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