Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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