well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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