Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
