btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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