I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
