I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
