READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
