Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
