need another drink. this is the easiest way
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
