i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
