Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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