either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
