I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
