She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
