he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
