Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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