why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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