I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Even my vagina gasped.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
