Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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