im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Welp...herpes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize