We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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