I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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