So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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