Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
