every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
