Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
