I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
