Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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