Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
