i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
