This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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