Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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