It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
