when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
