This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
