It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
