Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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