If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
