yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize