So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
