grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
