if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize