So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
