i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
